Need to Vent/Rant

Life is NOT always Sunshine and Roses, that's for sure.  And sometimes one just needs to vent.  So that's what this post is all about.  I need to vent!!

And what do I need to vent about???  PREDNISONE!!!  I HATE THIS DRUG!!!  Why do I hate this drug??  Because I hate the person I become when I'm on this drug!!  I want to just crawl into a hole until I can be weaned off prednisone.

Common side effects of Prednisone that I am currently experiencing:

• difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep (OH YEAH...only going on 4 hours of sleep today!)
• extreme changes in mood (you got it!!)
• changes in personality (yep)
• extreme tiredness (sometimes)
• weak muscles (sometimes)
• heartburn (Yep....not too often, but when it does it wakes me up in the middle of the night)
• increased sweating (Yep)
• irritability (that's an understatement)
• increased hunger (sometimes all I want to do is eat)

 So you can see why I hate this drug.  The moodiness is horrible.  I'm surprised hubby hasn't thrown me out of the house yet!  I'm doing my best to keep it under control, but it's not easy.  I'm about in tears right now from the moodiness, and a coworker just asked if I'm ok because I'm too quiet.  I told him that it was safer this way.  I don't want to open my mouth and say the wrong thing to the wrong person.

Last night I got 4 hours of sleep.  The night before I think it was 5 or so.  And it's not a constant sleep.  I'm waking up way too often. The heartburn gets really bad too, where I'm spitting up bile and my chest is just burning.  

I see my GI on Thursday and I'm going to demand we start me tapering off this drug.  And if the Crohn's complications flare up again, we need to find a better way to treat them.  This is the last time for this drug.  I REFUSE to go on it again.

Please, all I ask for is prayers and understanding.  I need support now more than ever.  I feel like I'm falling apart and that nobody understands.  And if I do or say anything to anger or upset someone, I apologize in advance.  And if I'm too quiet, please know that it's not you, it's me.  I'm trying really hard to stay in control and being quiet is one way I know how to do it.