Lots to talk about

I haven't done a post in about 2 months now.  Part of that is because I was really discouraged with not seeing a difference on the scale, and just not in the mood to write.  In fact, over the last 2 months I was gaining instead of losing.  Even though a lot of positive things have happened, I was still letting the scale get to me.  And I need to stop letting it get to me.

Here are the positives:

• I had a follow-up with my primary and he has officially taken "diabetic" off my chart and changed it to "pre-diabetic".  If my numbers stay good, he'll take that off my chart too.  So the big burden of being a diabetic is now off my shoulder.  And this is a very good thing.
• Even though the scale hasn't moved, I have been still getting smaller.  Depending on the cut of clothes, I can fit into either a 20 or a 22.  I can walk into stores such as Sam's club and Old Navy and find clothes that will fit me.
• I discovered I have space between my toes.  I know this sounds funny, but when you're fat, you're fat all over, and my toes touched each other.  Now when I look at my feet, I actually see space between my toes.
• My wedding band is HUGE!  So is my wedding diamond ring.  I have yarn around it right now so they don't fall off my finger.  I need to find a ring guard that I like.
• I can dance all night long!  We attended a wedding over the weekend and I danced like crazy!!  A year ago I would not have been able to do that.  I would have had to sit and watch.  It's great to dance!!  In fact, I need to be invited to more weddings (hint, hint) so that I can dance more.  I should go on Ellen's show so I can dance! 
• I can wear a dress and it actually flows instead of showing all the bulges (of course some of that is thanks to shape-wear!). 

The scale finally changed over the last few days and now I'm at the lowest point yet, 271.  Which means I've lost 70 pounds since surgery and 127 pounds overall.

When I look at this picture, it all becomes really real.  To see the difference side by side is amazing.  I don't always notice when I look in the mirror or when I look at my body.  I see sagging skin and fat rolls.  I notice how much things wiggle and jiggle.  And I see other things too.  I notice that people still walk much faster than I do.  I notice that I still have problems battling the cravings for foods I shouldn't be eating.  I see how far I still have to go.

Many times the physical part is the easy part.  It's battling the thoughts and emotions that is the hard part.  When I'm "hungry" most of the time I'm not truly hungry, it's just my brain not being nice to me.  I need to ignore that "mental hunger" and only listen to the physical hunger.  I'm not going to starve, that's for sure.  And I need to stay on track (or to quote one of my favorite movies, "stay on target...  Stay on target")

However, I need to focus on the positive.  I need to look at this picture.  I need to see how far I have come.  I need to remember all the good stuff and cast away the bad stuff.  I need to remember the times when people say that I look amazing, and I need to tell myself that too.

And... I need to dance more often.